we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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