Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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