Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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