Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
