real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize