But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
