are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
