If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
