your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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