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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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