To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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