first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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