Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
