ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
