ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
