It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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