just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
