she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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