There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
