We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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