yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
