you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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