Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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