Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize