That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
