I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
