dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
