He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
