A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
how does that bad decision feel?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
