Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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