I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
