is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
