I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
