Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
