just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
