Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
