I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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