Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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