I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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