First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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