I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
