operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hippo gnu deer
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
