Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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