Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
