I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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