My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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