i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
