Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize