The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
