How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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