I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
