Quick, to the slutcave!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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