She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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