it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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