i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
