I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
