they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
