After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
