Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
