Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
