Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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