my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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