no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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